Band Aid and Betadine.....::hannetipatika's dead dreams::..
05:29 PM
as the wound foresees total closure, it reaps back open. is this really how fate turns tables? moving on, strolling straight forward, then suddenly a tiny bulk to disgrace the ramp.
i used to hope that the source of this sulkiness would go find me, not haunt me. i'm done weeping, i'm done wishing, but the overlaps make me distrust my own judgment. my decision-making's frail, i'd have to work my choices out, else i fall face-first as i've always been since a hundred lifetimes back.
reminiscing, i watched myself through thought-seeking how i've bruised hearts in the process of me becoming "me". i've realized that even in my innocence, i hurt and kill unknowingly--i WAS BORN A LETHAL WEAPON--and that's what makes it hard for me to accept that i've failed to recognize recently the game i was born to play.
...you could have told me we were on the playing field, you should have seen me at my best trashing your pitiful tactics.. simple, i do not race pre the flag.
but then, the bright side: i know better now.
i also know now that i haven't really been good at recognizing who's real and who's not ever since. i always seem to lure myself into the wrong direction, i know that i know i'm wrong, but i still choose the road not (usually) taken. no, not stupidity, neither was it love.
i have plans now, and i am trying to set my mind through those.
the war between my mind and my heart's far from conclusion... i am, however, ready to lose a battle to win the war, question is, which battle am i to lose?
band-aid my mind, betadine my heart.
the former uses logic irrationally, the latter needs nothing at all.
